Rock Stars don’t worry about the encroaching snow (forecast for the end of the week) they simply call upon the love of their fans. Rumours abound that devotees are willing to sniff a line of dandruff if it belongs to one of their heroes, why not go one better? Zingo Cynara,lead singer of Thrash Punk Metal Bauhaus disco four piece Trausertrunk has commanded his legions of admirers to sniff all the snow from his garden path so that he can walk down it without a single flake touching his shoes. Straws and rolled up five pound notes will be handed out to the hoard of worshipers who have already setup camp outside his Essex Mansion, despite the conspicuous absence of any snow.
“It would be an honour,” said Emma Teahead, a fan. “He is an important man, and his snow will be filled with rock and roll dreams.” She went on to say. “I hope I get a yellow bit!”
The Haddock’s reporter was forced to retire from the scene due to a sudden coughing fit so no more interviews were conducted. But it just goes to show that if music be the food of love … fill your nose with ice!