Putting the milk back in the oven.
Hiding chocolate in your underwear when it’s not Cadburys.
Using flour bombs in libraries.
Watching the TV, and believing you can hear a curious ‘ding’ after the programme.
socks because you forgot your gloves.
Laying down on the floor facedown in supermarkets when an assistant points a pricing gun at you.
Keeping a goldfish in your purse.
Wearing tampons as earrings.
Making a 1970’s trim phone sound effect with your mouth.
Producing a 1970’s trim phone at airports to answer the call.
Gift wrapping Heinz ravioli bite-size pasta mince parcels, out of the tin, separately.
Making rafts out of road signs.
Cutting small crescents out of plastic vending cups, spreading them neatly at your feet, so you can fool your others you have already cut your toenails.
Chewing a whole tube of Gaviscon tablets, and throwing yourself on the floor of a bus to get a seat.
Attempting to use dental floss on dangerous zoo animals.
Arranging potted plants stolen from garden centres at vital exits of the emergency services.
Picking up litter with the cheeks of your arse.
Wearing a shredded cardboard wig.
Using wooden clothes pegs all over your skin to prevent signs of ageing.