The government have unveiled their latest plans for spreading some festive cheer during the wintry months – a charity nudey calander featuring themselves to be sold in aid of the budget deficit!
First up is Miss January, Home Secretary Theresa May playing up to her ice maiden image by posing in fishnet stockings whilst handcuffing a rioting college student to the gates of St Pauls Cathedral.
Miss July, octogenarian Lib Dem elder stateswoman Baroness Shirley Williams is presented in a summer scene seductively covered in ice cream whilst attempting to cool off by standing next to the rapidly spinning grave of the father of the modern liberal movement William Ewart Gladstone.
And there’s something for the ladies too! Mr August, hunky thirty stone Communities Secretary Eric Pickles is shown beached upon a sandbank in the Outer Hebrides whilst a team of scantily clad RSPCA officials attempt to guide him back into the sea.
The calendars, which cost £45,000 each and are fully claimable off parliamentary expenses, have so far enjoyed mixed reactions.
The Daily Telegraph Calendar Critic Billson Willbury reacted by screaming in horror and eventually having to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act whilst The Sun’s political correspondent Scumwin Balderdapse gave a review which involved gouging out his eyes with a biro before shooting himself in the face