Join the latest fun craze sweeping across the country: Shellatio! What’s shellatio you ask? Well the answer is very simple, it’s egg throwing … but with a difference.
“It’s brilliant!” Danny Bother from from Henley explains. “You get pissed, find a church, and throw eggs over it! The first person to get an egg over the tower and land it without breaking is the winner.”
Yes, believe it or not, as night falls in towns and villages all over Britain, groups of children, families and even pensioners are painting numbers onto their eggs and preparing to head down to the local church for a spot of shellatio.
“I was about to give up on life,” says Ivan ocean who is eighty years old and who, up until recently, was facing a lonely dotage in his Hertfordshire bedsit. “But thanks to shellatio, I’ve found a new lease of life. Who’d of thought my days would become so enriched and exciting thanks to a box of eggs?” Ivan is a member of the local shellatio team who regularly compete in the inter-village championships.
However, the sport is not popular amongst the clergy.
“I don’t think God would approve of this!” said some priests angrily.