Alien Faeces

A surveillance satellite has been knocked out of the sky by a frozen astronaut turd! The stool, nick named ‘The Gasteroid’ was also damaged in the collision but is still believed to be orbiting the planet at high speed. The race is on to find the poo as it could inflict damage on other orbiting hardware including the ISS (International Space Station). Investigators are also keen to capture and examine the object hoping to determine its origin. Alien enthusiasts are holding out hope that this is the first extra terrestrial attack, albeit an accidental one, by green men who ejected their waste having finished a routine sweep of Arizona where they were believed to be interfearing with rednecks, again! However it is more likely that this is human waste. If it turns out to be Russian then there maybe an inquest as to how it found itself on the same flight path as a satellite which may, or may not have been photographing sensitive military sites in Siberia. The Russians have poo pooed the idea, suggesting that the turd was in fact aimed at one of their own  satellites but scored an own goal instead. 

Meanwhile a team of amateur rocket scientists in Shropshire are remaining tight lipped about alleged experiments they have been carrying out using a mighty catapult to fire various objects into the heavens.