The computer civil rights movement gained some momentum today after a contrivercial ruling in the Europian High Court outlawing the phrase ‘My Computer has Crashed’. Hooegarden Transistoor, a Dutch lawyer acting on behalf of Martin, a laptop from Leicestershire, argued that when a PC or laptop freezes up it is often due to software that has been installed by the owner or ‘User’ of the machine, or because of mistakes made by that user.
“To then suggest that persons such as my client has crashed, implying that it somehow lost control of itsef and veered off into cyberspace is therefore is as defamatory as it is factually inaccurate!” Announced the Right Honourable Mr Transistoor.
Martin, for his part, insists that he froze up because there was so much porn and related spyware on his hard drive that to continue working would jeopardise his user’s personal files. He was also busy fighting off a virus. Martin’s owner Doctor Ian Literate, denies that the porn was his at all, suggesting that someone else in his house must have downloaded it. This might well be true if there was anyone else other than his blind, ninety-year old mother Phylis who has no limbs and hasn’t heard anything since a doodlebug hit her house in 1944.
After the landmark ruling, Martin declined to comment but his lawyer said that he was looking forward to a well earned break and a chance to recharge his batteries.