Always Bury Rabbits Face Down!

School children in the village of Numpty on Thames were horrified to see a pair of teeth growing out of the flower bed at the back of their playground. As the weeks went on the teeth continued to get longer and longer until they stood a full eighty feet above the building and were in danger of becoming entangled in power lines and causing a hazard to aircraft. Unsure what to do about this the head teacher Ms Sally Bet called in rabbit expert Dr Warren Feltcher who rolled his eyes at the spectacle.

“How many bloody times to I need to tell people?” he grumbled. “Don’t you know that a rodent’s teeth NEVER stop growing? Always bury them FACE DOWN!”

He went onto explain that fossilised teeth from prehistoric rodents are still to this day breaking the surface. A man in Spain was killed last year after taking a siesta under a tree.  A pair of giant horned Capybara teeth pushed through the surface and pierced his heart as he slept. And the grounds staff at Wigan Athletic football Club are constantly complaining about teeth messing up the pitch which was built on the site of a Pliocene tar pit. During a match last week the tusk from a Mammoth Gerbil appeared between the goal posts of the opposing team sparking a row about match fixing.

“Yeah that’s right!” Said the groundsman. “We buried a dinosaur gerbil under the pitch, like we’ve got that much time on our hands!”

Well… there you have it boys and girls, make sure you bury Thumper and Hammy face down or you’ll get the bite of your life!

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Posted by on March 11, 2011. Filed under Haddock Animals, Haddock Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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