The team at Cern who have spent years and billions of Euros building the Large Hadron Collider are said to be utterly devastated by news that the elusive Higgs-Boson particle has been created, filmed and interviewed on London’s Circle Line between the stations of Westminster and Embankment.
The Higgs-Boson, also known as the “God Particle” was in good spirits and said to be very surprised at its discovery having evaded capture for so long.
Feel the Length
The Circle Line which surrounds central London is, by happy coincidence, 27 kilometers long which is the same length as the LHC and so it is perhaps not so surprising that the particle should appear here.
It was created by two amateur scientists, Dominic Dupont and Pierre Vichy the latter of whom is French.
“We sellotaped two matchboxes of atomic particles on the front of tube trains travelling in opposite directions. ” Explains Mr Dupont excitedly. “It took a long time to get it right as they kept passing each other in the wrong place, however last night it all came together beautifully and the Higgs-Boson blasted into existence in a flash of orange light and landed exactly where we had predicted.”
So sure were the scientists of this happening that they had placed a plastic chair beneath the point of extraction in which the particle found himself sat after the collision.
Despite the fact that scientific history was being created commuters were angered by the delay it caused.
At 5.28pm a voice came over the Tannoy at Westminster Station explaining that the Tower Hill service would be ten minutes late due to the fact that signalling equipment had been sucked into a black hole sending a wave of furious mutterings down the platform.
Not even the appearance of the God Particle himself was enough to cheer them up.
It seems that even the presence of a substance so exotic as to constitute the very building blocks of the universe is not enough to hold back a chorus of “You’re shit and you know you are!” from the disgruntled rush hour mob.
The Higgs-Boson particle is said to be safe and well and is helping police with their enquiries.