Andrelax! The Antidote to a Stressful Life!

Stressed? Worried? Nervous? Put on edge by this article in case it tells you you’re insane? Scared that it may promise to solve all your problems and not deliver? Overcome by a wave of depression and lost hope? Biting your nails and trying to resist the desire to run off to a dark place with soft furnishings in which to weep and wail because it’s all so unfair? We have the answer! These are the claims of C.U. Coming and Son Ltd. Makers of Andrelax, the first of a new generation of anti-depressants which claim to use dignity, honesty and integrity as their main ingredients.

 Charlie Tan, CEO of the company explains their pitch;

 “Made from Haddock Liver oil, this amazing pill will solve all your problems. Andralax is unlike other pills because it has no side effects, it is not cut with any dodgy substances, it is non addictive, very cheap and does exactly what it says on the box … ie. It tastes a little bit of fish. Yes folks, Andralax is the answer, a pill that promises little and fails to deliver. No more lies, no more false trails, it’s time for a drug that is straight up and honest. Remember how cheated you felt when you first took your prescription, didn’t that make the whole problem worse? Haddock liver oil is the answer, don’t you see? It doesn’t let you down because it manages your expectations. The chemists and fishmongers at C.U. Coming and Sons Ltd. Know you’re not a fool, and so they don’t treat you as one. Pharmaceutical companies who lie to you are putting you in your place, they’re admitting that you’re defected and faulty, you’re a case, a problem, a statistic. With Andralax you can hold your head up high, safe in the knowledge that we treat you the same as everyone else. You are equal, you are human and you have all the frailties and imperfections that make that race one of the five wonders of the world … and that’s why Andrelax is the drug for you!  

This is the first pill from C.U. Coming, who have moved into pharmaceuticals recently. They used to manufacture plastic beads for the toy industry.

Posted by on January 25, 2011. Filed under Haddock Culture, Haddock Science. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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