Anne Grenade

As has long been suspected, Princess Anne is actually a bomb. She came clean last night when quizzed about her involvement with MI6 during the 1970’s and 80’s.  The Haddock understands that from a young age the Princess Royal has been eating small amounts of Semtex which accumulated in her body to such an extent that she is now classified as a Woman of Mass Destruction (WMD).  A spokesman for Buckingham Palace admitted that it is standard procedure to have a bomb in the Royal Family, a tradition dating back to Edward the Black Prince who’s head was three quarters full of gunpowder. Thankfully no Royal bomb has ever needed to be detonated, but now this information is in the public domain it has been deemed better for all concerned if the princess moves to a cottage in Antarctica!