Seeing as good old Boris is so fond of transport policies, how about cheering us all up by banning all “wheelie bags” Those suitcases with tiny wheels which people drag behind themselves unaware of the trail of mayhem they cause? Where is the logic in dragging an object the size of a small fiat around behind you? You can’t see it! You can’t control it!!! You don’t drag a baby in a push chair behind you, you put it in front where you can make sure it’s not felling commuters like dominoes! I demand that in order to own one of these hainous devices you must first undergo a rigorous course of instruction followed by a test (both written and practical). Hopefully this will deter most people from embarking on such a ridiculous purchase in the first place!
On the Homeless
Last night I gave a homeless guy some money and I also offered him a sandwichâ€¦first he said “I hope it hasn’t got mustard in it” and then he refused it all together because it was ham and he was a vegetarian. I’m assuming that a lot of homeless people read the Metro as it’s free. Does the homeless readership agree with me that this man is his own worst enemy putting principles ahead of survival? If people who are begging refuse food, what exactly do the want the money for? Anywayâ€¦I ate the sandwich myself and it was delicious!
On Stupid Sayings about Shepherds
On the bus from Muswell Hill last night I enjoyed a delightful pinkie red sunset over London, however when I awoke this morning I saw a delightful red sunrise over London. Do you suppose in a field somewhere near the capital there is one very confused Shepherd?
Hook up the Daiquiri drip, I need to ride out a flashback! Hic!