With all the expose it’s been getting and it’s owner’s poll numbers dwindling, disgraced numbskull politician Anthony Weiner’s penis has announced its intentions to seek a position on the New York City Council.
“I definitely think he’s got a great shot. He’s doing very well polling,” claims the penis’s chief of staff. Currently the penis, running as a member of the Green Party, is nearly neck-in-neck with incumbent Republican Leslie Swisher.
Owner Anthony Weiner (also known as “Carlos Danger” – mega points for that pseudonym, bro) has been supportive of his penis’s new ambitions. “My penis is by the people, and for the people. It’s highly motivated, and takes a hard stance on the issues he’s passionate about. He also really enjoys anal.” We assume he means giving.
A media campaign is set for Tuesday via picture texts.