Argentina Steals the Isle of Sheppey

Argentina will invade the FalklandsIn what has been described as an audacious move, Argentinian forces have boarded the Isle of Sheppey and, before the local coast guard was able to react, piloted it out of British waters and on into the North Sea.

Currently Sheppey is skimming across the Bay of Biscay on its way to Buenos Aires, however the expected response by British military forces has not been forthcoming.

A memo leaked from the House of Commons saying ‘I hope they come back for Canvey too,’ has been neither confirmed or denied by the government or its Labour opposition.

The residents of Sheppey Island are believed to have responded positively to promises of beautiful surgically enhanced bikini girls, warm temperatures and Malbec showers.

The mission, which took everyone by surprise, has been described as ‘audacious but misguided’ by the MOD. The Isle of Sheppey is not considered to be worth a great deal to an enemy and as such it was poorly guarded.

“Even the bloody vikings wouldn’t go there… and they raped Elm Trees!’ said local historian Keith Baines.

If the Argentinians succeed in sailing the Island back to their capital it will be the first successful Atlantic crossing on a landmass since Salty the Seagull arrived in Miami on what was believed to be the bloated carcass of Robert Maxwell.