ASA Deems John Lewis Advert ‘Unbearable’

Morrisey

The much broadcast John Lewis Christmas advert ‘For gifts you can’t wait to give’ has caused a sensation. The retailer of ‘middle class tat’ said it was delighted at the public’s response to the video, after reports of householders bursting into tears, when they first learnt that the little boy couldn’t wait for Christmas Day, because he wanted to give his parents his own special gift.

However, the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has now reprimanded the company. It states that the real reason people are crying is because it is shown at every commercial break and the prospect of having to watch it yet again is too much to bear for many.

The crisis situation has been compounded because television viewers are now having to watch a spoof version of the ad as well, as a trailer for a new Gordon Ramsay programme. The ASA reports that for many people, the very idea of having to watch Gordon Ramsay is unbearable.

Additionally, thousands of Smiths fans across the nation find the advert unwatchable, as a song they once held dear (Please, please, please…), sung by a so-called ‘rebellious’ band, is being used as a soundtrack to sell mainstream consumer goods.

The Great British viewing public has also had to endure the Marks and Spencer Christmas advert which features failed X Factor finalists singing When You Wish Upon A Star.

Sidney Makepiece of Essex said ‘It’s bad enough having to put up wiv Cowell’s sh** on a weekend, without having to listen to it in mid-week ad breaks as well.

However, the plight of viewers affected by recent festive ads is nothing to the misery inflicted on those with an aversion to Go Compare, who are now entering the fifteenth year of enduring a mindless, dull, repetitive, lacklustre video.

Simon Cowell did not wish to comment on the situation when The Haddock telephoned him at 5am this morning.