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Bennet Vindushali
Stories written by Bennet
If you're reading this, I'm probably dancing in an American flag thong. Or, I'm reporting vital information in an American flag thong. - Author's Full Bio
Cyprus suddenly becomes important

STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING PRESSES! Cyprus! That little spec of a landmass somewhere is suddenly controlling the fate of the Euro-Zone! Holy shit! The Euro-Zone is like a weird death-match sports arena right? This shit is insanity right now! No, It’s Something to do with the Euro. Currency. Well damn, that’s certainly something as well, and […]

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“Throw Celebrities to the Sharks!” to premiere on ABC

Times are tough for network television; advertising dollars are dwindling, viewership is at an all-time low, and cyborgs have taken over the late-night chat show syndicate. Such setbacks have made belts tight at all of the major networks. But ABC has the greatest solution by far! Throw Celebrities to the Sharks! “Essentially, we’ve combined ‘Shark […]

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