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Bernard Floater
Stories written by Bernard Floater
Keep it brief...my prostate is weeping! - Author Bio
US Government outraged over Citizen Spying operations

By now, most of the planet has heard of a man named Edward Snowden. We know, at first everyone thought that the man in question was Ed Snowden the famous Renaissance fair performer, but they are not one and the same. This Edward Snowden is the man who leaked details of the US government’s all-encompassing […]

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Toronto can’t keep a good Crackhead down

This guy! Did you know that people in Canada enjoy doing drugs? Yes, aside from dog sledding and building log cabins, the great white north is becoming much whiter due to it’s emerging interest in crack cocaine. Now to be clear, not everyone in Canada is smoking crack. However, if you do smoke crack, there’s […]

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Atlantic Ocean must reduce Sodium content by 2018

It is common knowledge that the Atlantic Ocean is the saltiest in the world. This Friday, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) announced that, to make the ocean “safer for both wildlife and humans,” the Atlantic must reduce its sodium content from 3.3% to 2.4% over the next five years. “As the Atlantic is the biggest […]

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Bitcoin: Choose your own Economic Adventure!

If you haven’t heard yet, there is a thing called Bitcoin. It’s on the internet, and if you make the mistake of trying to figure out exactly what it is, you shall be thrust into a life-threatening quest for truth, digital currency and viking helmets. Upon entering the Bitcoinosphere, you are presented with the idea […]

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Buffalo Wild Wings to begin allowing employees to work from Twitter

The popular US sports bar/restaurant/asshole magnet Buffalo Wild Wings has announced that as of next month, certain employees will be able to do their work via Twitter. The decision is being praised as “revolutionary” by the company’s board of directors. “Much like Yahoo!, we wanted to make a statement,” says corporate spokesman Harry Burlask, “Except […]

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