Home » Entries posted by Baron Haddock (Page 87)
Stories written by Editor
Cue-Ball Stomach-Pump Hell Defeat!

Paramedics were called to a pub in Staffordshire over the Christmas holidays after a freak accident during a pool competition. Local men Rick ‘Potmaster’ Stephens and Crispin ‘Deepan’ Evens were down to the last two balls on the table when Stephens, completing what he thought was the winning shot, applied so much back spin he […]

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Ever Wondered What Thrush Tastes Like?

Well, if you have the wait is over! The latest addition to London’s endless list of culinary establishments and eateries has arrived. “Thrush My Darling”, located in fashionable Soho, has a menu exclusively devoted to one of Britain’s favorite birds. Such delicacies as thrush pie, thrush sausage, thrush sushi and thrushed pineapple await your taste […]

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Dolphins Achieve National Park Status

From January 1st 2011 all dolphins are to be designated National Parks. From that day on it will be illegal to build or alter property located on any dolphin, porpoise or small whale. Planning permission for a shopping centre located within a pod of pilot whales in the North Sea has already been revoked and […]

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Da Vinci’s Wheelbarrow-Plane; Flight Imminent

Recently unearthed drawings by keen gardener and all round clever bloke; Leonardo Da Vinci, revealed a revolutionary design for a wheelbarrow-aircraft. The Florentine genius, known to have invented gliders, helicopters, turkey basters, clock-radios, electric toothbrushes, foot spa’s and other wonders far ahead of his time, reached his engineering zenith with this marvel of science. A […]

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Rogue Milk Float Causes Chaos in City of London

Reported sightings of a rogue milk float, bearing the epithet ‘Milk not Money’ multiplied across the City of London today, as workers streamed out of their offices in droves, shouting vigorous anti-capitalist slogans of the like not heard of since Gordon Brown visited the local Marxist Toddlers Playgroup in his erstwhile constituency last year. The […]

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St. Nic Anti-Smoking Shocker

Times are hard for all of us, including it seems for one usually round and jolly fellow who until now has ensured children everywhere receive their presents at Christmas. Shockingly a red top has leaked that Father Christmas has become the spokesperson for ASH (Action on Smoking and Health) for an undisclosed sum. They cite […]

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Driving Backwards Saves Fuel

Ground breaking research from The University of Sevenoaks has revealed that not only does driving in reverse save fuel, it is also a greener alternative to driving forwards. The theory is that by driving backwards you actually blow the exhaust fumes back into the car thus preventing them from escaping into the atmosphere and causing […]

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The government have refuted claims that the new London Pigeon Rental Act is in fact a form of stealth tax. The policy, which will cost Londoners ten pence each for the pleasure of having pigeons in Trafalgar Square and other areas, was successfully passed through the House of Lords yesterday. Also included in the Bill […]

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Dandruff death?

Police today are investigating what is thought to be the first death by severe dandruff in history. Inspector Malcolm Dashboard of Devon & Cornwall police said in a press conference today: “The deceased, who’s family requests that he not be named due to cronic embarrassment, was found in the bathroom of his flat, and it […]

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Spaceship Did Not Belong to Christ!

At a press conference in Jordan, scientists and experts on holy relics have confirmed that pieces of what was claimed to be Christ’s Spaceship are in fact the remains of something else. They pointed out that Christ never mentioned a spaceship in any of his sermons or parables, and yet it is well known that he was not […]

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