BANG-Kruptcy! Suicide Bomber had Payments left on his Sofa!

An investigation into the behavior of suicide bombers in their ‘pre-explosion’ years has revealed a worrying trend in unpaid hire purchase agreements.

A man who blew himself up in Iraq in 2009 only had one payment left on a leather sofa and two women who self-detonated in Syria were only half-way through a six year agreement for a station wagon.

“This really is appauling behavior!” Said Business Analyst Brian Thompkins. “To blow up an embassy is one thing, but to leave these companies out of pocket is just so thoughtless!”

However, there may well be a correlation between the two things.

Budd Patterson, a PI from Thamesmead has been looking into this story for some years now.

“I used to have a successful car dealership until my clients began blowing themselves up! Now I want to get to the bottom of this!” He grumbled.

Mr Patterson claims that people with HP debt are targetted by religious fanatics and given a way out…albeit a rather extreme one.

“You get to cancel your debt  and become a martyr at the same time, it’s a win win!” he continued.

In the light of this investigations a number of explosives manufacturers have ceased all credit to new customers after their products were used in this way and from January 2013 all HP agreements will include a claus about defaulting on payments for Jihad!