A wind-farm in Northumberland has been closed due to a suspected outbreak of Bird-Flu. Four of the wind turbines have already been destroyed and the others are scheduled to be executed tomorrow morning at 9am. The flu is transmitted by bird faeces which fills the air around the wind farms when a large shit-filled bird is sliced in half by one of the propellers. Some birds like swans have a large amount of turd stored in their bowels for use in nest building and mating rituals, these are believed to be the main culprits.
Albert Ross from the RSPB had this to say on the subject “We try to keep the really big shitting species out of the the British Isles buy tying old CD’s to trees along the coast but because swans fly at over 20’000 feet this has a pretty low success rate. We could shoot them of course but being the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds that is somewhat outside our remit!” he said, adding that. “Besides if you do shoot a fat bird full of turd it’s liable to explode in a cloud of crap, spreading the stuff over a wide area!”
The future is uncertain for other wind farms in the area. Hector Nado, a local wind farmer had this to say on the subject. “Doesn’t bother me…fekking things never lay any eggs anyway!”
We’ll keep you posted on any developments!