Bishop sympathises with ‘sad bastard’ campaigners

An important Bishop today spoke of the sympathy he has with the Occupy London protest.

The Right reverend Nicolas Maiden said, in an interview with The Haddock ‘There is a lot of substance in their cause and if he were alive today, Jesus might have been in one of the tents himself’.

His Importantness may in fact have further commented ‘I’ve a lot of sympathy with the protesters. I mean, those sad bastards don’t have a proper job, they smell a bit and it can’t be much fun sleeping in a tent on concrete can it?’

The Mostly Reverend Maiden further expanded on the protesters ‘I don’t think they’ll really change anything cos most bankers and that are down the Canary Wharf anyway. Come Christmas, they’ll be freezing their bollocks off, eating vegetable broth and stale bread while we’ll be in the cathedral having a right proper old turkey with all the trimmings and that’.

However, Fred ‘Hairy’ Armpit, spokesperson for Occupy London responded by saying ‘The remarks of the Irreverential Williams only confirm the effect that the protest is having. The cathedral is losing in excess of £9.50 a day through reduced takings in coffee morning get togethers, which is hitting the clergy hard’.

Veteran anti-road protester Daniel ‘Swampy’ Hooper visited the Occupy London site earlier this week to meet with demonstrators. However, he later snuck past the protest site to go to Starbucks in order to ‘get a decent cup of coffee’.

U2 singing legend Bono has also been invited to St. Paul’s to lend support to the cause.

Occupy London has had no response from the vocalist to date so has had to make do with Cliff Richard singing,  Batchelor Boy, Congratulations and several other of his many hits, acapella, to lift spirits during heavy rain downpours.

The Haddock cannot confirm if he will perform ‘Saviour’s Day’ during the Christmas period.

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Posted by on November 9, 2011. Filed under Haddock UK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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