Bishops fail to declare mince pie bonuses in St. Paul’s protest

The furore regarding protesters outside St. Paul’s cathedral continues for another week.

Campaigners are railing against the huge bonuses paid to bishops and arch deacons.

Fred ‘Hairy’ Armpit said ‘It’s outrageous. Every week the clergy receive gifts from grateful parishioners of cakes and buns and other confectionery items, and these are not declared for tax purposes. And at Christmas, they get bottles of sherry and mince pies. Over the year, it adds up to hundreds of pounds.’

But the Right Reverend Reginald Wrigglesworth gave a sharp retort to these accusations. ‘It’s a case of the kettle calling the pot black. These protesters get countless cups of tea and custard creams from local old ladies that are sympathetic to their cause. And I’ve seen one farmer give them a sack of spuds and a bag of manky turnips.
Are they declaring that to the tax man?’

Wrigglesworth continued ‘These people can only protest lying down in tents. What happened to walking through the streets waving protest banners?’

Others joined the backlash against the protest camp. Cedric Blenkinsop, who had travelled to London with his family from East Anglia said ‘The facilities at this camp site are below average. There isn’t a proper toilet or shower block, no shop to buy essentials  and no playground to occupy the kids but there is good wi-fi coverage. I’ll be giving a poor review on UKcampsite.com tomorrow.