If you haven’t heard yet, there is a thing called Bitcoin. It’s on the internet, and if you make the mistake of trying to figure out exactly what it is, you shall be thrust into a life-threatening quest for truth, digital currency and viking helmets.
Upon entering the Bitcoinosphere, you are presented with the idea of crypto-currency, or the concept that money is not actually printed, but is in fact conjured by wizards in a shadowy mountain cave where they live amongst a population of benevolent trolls. Your knowledge of crypto-currency will never come in handy, because you’ll never actually gain any legitimate understanding of the concept.
After your non-introduction to the platform, you then utilize your transactionary skills to transfer currency to others. Something called a block chain is involved. You have to wear armor and wield a mace while seated at your home computer.
Additional currency is added to your journey collectively via “mining.” This involves the process of plumbing the depths of a forgotten gorge for mystic crystals. Thereafter, a major factor in accomplishing missions relies on a “private key,” which is trapped in a dungeon or something.
According to it’s unknown creators, “…to start using Bitcoin, you are not required to understand the technical details.” However it is important to know that Bitcoin will certainly involve you losing money. The pain of that loss will be amplified by the fact that you know there are probably 14-year-old Korean children who understand Bitcoin completely while you continue to fumble away your assets.
What made you think you knew anything about this internet shit in the first place?