We’re owed another bank holiday and it’s time we had it off! Gordon Brown dithered over the idea of a new bank holiday for England but never seemed to get around to nailing it. St. George’s day perhaps? Yeah, lets have day off to celebrate a man who was a Roman Soldier from Syria who didn’t slay a dragon because they’re made up! That’s the way to touch the hearts and minds of the average English citizen. So what then? Researches from The Haddock may have a solution to this problem. The ‘Bonk’ holiday.
Let us explain:
Statistically, looking at the data from the last hundred years or so, there must be a particular day on which more people are born. One day which seems to have the most births … there will be! Now, before you start puking up over this sickly sweet idea, read on… If there is a day when more people are born than any other, then it stands to reason that nine months prior to this date there is a day when statistically speaking people are most likely to have had sex. Not only that but procreation. A shag day, a day in bed, national leg over day, wham bam I’m not coming to work I’m coming somewhere else maam Day! Find this date and venerate it … A SEMINAL OCCASION!