Boris Johnson is today recovering at his London home after collapsing beneath what has been described as a Tsunami of adjectives. It is understood by The Haddock, that Mr Johnson made the schoolby error of launching into a diatribe of piffle whilst standing at the top of the stairs. Having customarily lost his way mid sentence he attempted to dig his way out with a barrage of adjectives which rapidly accumulated into a category five rant. The sheer weight of invective, together with animated hair flicking and the obligatory shaking of a podgy and defiant fist, threw him backwards off the cliff of obscurity. Dashed on the shag pile some distance below he found himself befuddled and shaken. It was some time before he was able to contact the emergency services, something which he had to do seven or eight times, the first six calls being dismissed as the ravings of an unhinged crank caller. His condition is described unstable, in other words he’s feeling much better.