Britain Pulls out of Eurovision

Cliff Richards EurovisionCameron Uses the Withdrawal Method!

That’s it, we’re pulling out of the Eurovision Song Contest, or so says a senior member of the Conservative party!

Arguably this will not make a huge difference to the contest which is essentially a Balkan Love-in but the announcement has sent shockwaves through the easy listening community.

Sir Cliff Richards who won the contest back when it was fair is said to be deeply saddened by the news. “It’s very sad,” he announced whilst taking a five minute break from recording his new Christmas song, a four hour ballad containing all four gospels in their entirety.

Eurovision fans and those of us who like to sit and perv at the dancers whilst drinking strong continental lagers will have to think of something else to do that night.

It is worthy of note that the afore mentioned strong continental lager will not be banned from the UK for no other reason than that might lead to civil war which would ultimately be another blow for the beleaguered government.

Deputy prime minister Nick Clegg had only this to say on the subject “I’m too scared to voice my opinion!”

Sources close to Mr Clegg however reveal that he will not be sending David Cameron a Christmas card this year.