Britain’s Most Left-Wing Man Moves to Southsea

Left Winger

Readers of The Daily Mail living in the Southsea area have been urged to be on their guard against the presence of what journalists have described as ‘the most achingly left wing man in Britain’ who has recently been spotted in the area.

According to intelligence reports received by the newspaper’s investigative team yesterday the 38 year old individual, Lentil Passivitus, was spotted entering a vegan restaurant in the town’s Latin quarter on Saturday afternoon and ordering a lettuce leaf and quorn- cheese ciabatta.

Said one reporter, who asked not be named for fear of being queered up by the Trotskyist elitists who now run this country;’ “From what we’ve dreamed up this man is a danger to all right thinking people across Britain.

We understand Mr Passivitus is a tech-correspondent for Channel Four News currently living in a converted factory apartment with his common law partner of seven years and their mutual live in lover, Steve.

We also wish to believe that he’s perfectly comfortable wearing pink trousers, sports an obscene greying goatee beard and even knows how to play a sitar.