Yes folks, the latest must have toy in the shops for this Summer; British Political Action Figures! There are three to collect. Each comes with his own set of policies and rhetoric. Although each has his own unique background story, they’re remarkably similar.
It’s a scam: They all look the same!
Yes they do rather don’t they? Never mind, each is a completely individual person capable of leading the country much better than any of the other two. Okay, they all seem to occupy the same centre-ground of politics but that’s no reason to doubt their sincerity, they don’t just want power and votes, they want change. The may not change their suits or haircuts, but they say they can change Britain! The kids will simply love taking them out on the campaign trail, scrapping at the dispatch box and taking them through the morning beauty regime which keeps them looking so young and fresh, ready to help the British Public.
How much do they cost?
Opinion is divided upon this, but the general consensus is that they’re cheaper than the Alistair Darling toy (no longer available) which was so expensive that it ceased to become economically viable to stock them, so we don’t anymore. Don’t worry if you can’t afford all four, you’ll find it makes no difference which one you buy. The colour of the tie is all that matters.
How do I buy one?
Just keep paying your taxes!
Which one is Prime Minister?
At the moment it’s the Cameron Doll, but I believe Simon Cowell will be choosing a new one next year and producing his first manifesto! Can’t wait for that.