Bryan Singer’s parties are now “very, very boring”

Current fun level: nowhere near this much.

Current fun level: nowhere near this much.

Bryan Singer has been accused of some very serious boy-touching, stemming from incidents at his infamous Hollywood pool parties. Sex, drugs and Depeche Mode were the order of the day. A marketing executive once swung from a chandelier through a window and into the pool carrying two young men on his back. Today, not so much.

“Have you ever tried to play Yahtzee in a pool?” asks a production assistant in a Speedo. “It sucks.”

Indeed, since the allegations were leveled against him, Bryan Singer’s parties have taken a somber turn. According to some sources, Singer generally stays in the shallow end of the pool sulking. His friends mill about the patio eating finger sandwiches, also sulking. Everyone is clothed, and the only music playing is a loop of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Singer has been tight-lipped about the parties for legal reasons, but was overheard confiding in his landscaper: “You stick your fingers in enough sockets, eventually you’re gunna get burned.”

Well said Mr. Director. Oh, and I’m ready for my close-up.

Dr Johannesburg Swivel

Dr Johannesburg Swivel

I'd very much like to stick my fingers inside you. - Author Bio

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