Budget ‘Assisted Suicide’ Clinic makes Death Affordable for Everyone!

It seems nothing is sacred these days, not even assisted suicide.  One un-named Serial entrepreneur claims his new budget assisted suicide service will make death more accessible to the masses.

“We put the YOU into euthanasia!” He announced confidently.

Two Haddock reporters were given exclusive access to the new program, they have since been replaced and their next of kin informed.

Orders of five or more will automatically qualify for an Easy-Funeral  which includes a budget wake and budget funeral service complete with a reusable laminated coffin.

A coin operated incinerator is also available for cremations.

Mourners are invited to buy sherry and sandwiches from the trolley and say a few words from the plastic lectern which is available for rent.

So far the company have only managed to secure a licence to sell the  product to several species of lizard and assorted rodents but he is confident that the recent unemployment figures and general fallout from the current economic crisis will lead to a government u-turn of their policy on suicide…that being that it is illegal.