Cameron addresses conservative conference in bondage gear

As the conservative party conference in Manchester drew to a close, several fringe meetings were held to discuss different aspects of policy and strategy.

Additionally, the final Fringe meeting of the conference featured unusual billing.

Sir Kenneth Clarke provided a bawdy twenty minute stand-up routine for the audience, although the content was a bit too much for some members of the 1922 Committee, who stormed out in protest.

David Cameron performed his Circus Macabre show dressed in leather bondage gear while Education Secretary Michael Goad played ‘disco bingo’ with the audience.

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley sang songs from the big musical shows, to a hip-hop sound track while Home Secretary Theresa May performed a burlesque show to  delighted backbenchers.

However, it was reported that the acts failed to beat rave reviews given to Ed Miliband’s nude mime extravaganza at the Labour Party Fringe and Nick Clegg’s Houdini tribute act at the Lib-Dem conference.

An all party committee will meet next week to discuss incentivising more young people to vote – in The X Factor, which will feature 5 MPs in the next series.

Additionally, four House of Lords peers will appear on next week’s Britain’s Got Talent, reading excerpts from Hansard, playing the spoons and exhibiting their embarrassing nasal hair.

David Cameron will hold surgeries in his local constituency of Witney this weekend and do an alternative magic show in the evening at the local conservative social club.

Simon  Cowell was unavailable for comment when The Haddock rang him at 3am yesterday.