A ban on anyone except Dutch nationals smoking cannabis in cafe’s across the country has effectively erased the last remaining reason to visit the Netherlands.
The waning popularity of clogs, tulips, windmills and omelettes coupled with the fact that most of Rembrandt’s work seems to be hanging in British Galleries means that is effectively the end of the road for Dutch tourism.
The remaining attractions namely; the Anne Frank museum and the red light district are so irreconcilably removed from one another that a poster containing images of both would be unthinkable.
If you take away the weed then Amsterdam is much like any other city except that you’ve got more chance of being run over by a tram than most and the beer (which is mostly foam) is served in contact lenses instead of pint glasses.
Some of the cannabis retailers are expecting a 90% drop in sales which can lead to two possible outcomes; either they become drug dealers or they burn the entire crop and instantly convert the Low Countries into the world’s largest bong.
The resulting ‘Hooch Fog’ would be so massive that aircraft would literally fall out of the sky because their baked pilots would be too busy raiding the kitchen to worry about landing.
This action by the Dutch government does seem a little perplexing in the light of the fact that there is a recession and everyone is scrabbling about for every dam penny they can get.
Posters advertising ‘Tulip and Clog’ stag parties are not expected to have much effect on the situation.