Home » Archives by category » Haddock Animals
Al-Qaeda asks ISIS to stop taking credit for their Attacks

Al-Qaeda asks ISIS to stop taking credit for their Attacks

On Monday, a pair of puss-filled fuck-canals in Texas tried to shoot some people for drawing pictures they didn’t like. Unlike a similar assault in France earlier this year, these consummate turd swallowers were unable to meet their objective. They managed to shoot a dude in the leg. That is the equivalent of a mosquito […]

Laser Owl is NOT to blame for attacks on Dutch village!

Impostor! As we all know, Laser Owl is a hero. He shoots lasers from his eyes, and he can stop all bad things from happening. The stoic, graceful bird has saved Valentine’s Day from the Hallmark Corporation, defeated the TupperWarewolf, and even beat president Barack Obama in a spirited game of table tennis. He is […]

Continue reading …
You’ll never Believe how much this Moose Weighs!

The Answer: Far too often! Now is the time for concern about the body image problem in the moose community! It is not a crime to be a fat moose. It is a crime to hit someone with a ball-peen hammer. Never confuse those two. DEVELOPING: Joke about the plural form of Moose! What do […]

Continue reading …
Woman Rapes Cat Sprayed with Lynx Deodorant

‘I just don’t know what came over me!’ is most likely what the cat would have said if cats could speak. Barry, a Persian cat from Hove is recovering in hospital today after being sexually assaulted by a woman. The woman, who will remain nameless, is helping police with their inquiries but is not expected to face […]

Continue reading …
Cat charged with Human Violence after beating Owner

A calico cat has been taken into police custody and charged with crimes against humanity. Or specifically crimes against one human, who happens to be its owner. The cat is suspected of having gotten drunk on Cisco Strawberry. After several failed attempts at courting other cats of the neighborhood into sexual relations, the animal became […]

Continue reading …
Peruvian sea-lion deaths thought to be revenge attack by buggered penguins!

A Penguin the ass! Peruvian authorities looking into the mass death of 500 sea lions are investigating a bizarre theory that they were murdered by angry penguins in retaliation for years of sexual harassment. Recent footage of a seal ass-fucking a penguin (Watch a seal fucking a penguin here!) has caused outrage across the globe, especially to […]

Continue reading …
Are we doing enough for our Anacondas?

On August 7th, 1992 Sir Mix-A-Lot delivered his monumental “Baby Got Back” address to the European Union. Like the Churchills and Mandelas before him, Mix-A-Lot’s speech was pointed with lines of great impact. Speaking on behalf of his reptilian constituency, Mix-A-Lot proclaimed in a mighty roar: “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, […]

Continue reading …
Joe Biden denies Dolphin support to Ukraine

The US Navy has been deployed to the Black Sea in order to aid Ukraine against Russian attack. However, the US Government will not lend use of it’s Elite Dolphin Attack Force, as they are the best friends of Vice President Joe Biden. “The Vice President has made it clear that our assistance to the […]

Continue reading …
Polar Bears encounter racism at South Pole

A group of polar bears who set-up a village in Antarctica have been subjected to vicious racism and torment at the hands of right wing penguins! The bears, who headed south in search of a new life after their home melted, are said to be honest and hard working but their lives have been made […]

Continue reading …
Meet the Orca that is standing by SeaWorld amidst Blackfish controversy

Everywhere you turn, people are attacking the SeaWorld theme parks for being animal-hating overlords in the cruel game of dolphin trafficking. The film Blackfish has exposed SeaWorld’s passionate hatred for the ocean and everything residing in it. But does everyone share this point of view? A killer whale called Leti begs to differ! “I think […]

Continue reading …
Page 1 of 10123Next ›Last »