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A pet living in Barnsley may have become the first clairvoyant fish  due to a bang on the head. Prize winning goldfish “Alfonso Spherical-Conquistador Covent Garden Princess Bathsheba III”  or “Alfie” for short, has, it is claimed by his owner, a memory so short that it is in fact able to see into the future. Blessed with the usual 15 seconds of memory […]

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Fury Cat VAT

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Fury Cat VAT

Nobody is more angry about the VAT increase than cats. They are literally hopping  mad about it, and nobody is sure why. Brian Wolftrousers of Sevenoaks University is Britain’s only registered cat translator. “They’re being a bit tight lipped about it,” he told the Haddock. “I think it’s because VAT rhymes with cat, or perhaps […]

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Ever Wondered What Thrush Tastes Like?

Well, if you have the wait is over! The latest addition to London’s endless list of culinary establishments and eateries has arrived. “Thrush My Darling”, located in fashionable Soho, has a menu exclusively devoted to one of Britain’s favorite birds. Such delicacies as thrush pie, thrush sausage, thrush sushi and thrushed pineapple await your taste […]

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Dolphins Achieve National Park Status

From January 1st 2011 all dolphins are to be designated National Parks. From that day on it will be illegal to build or alter property located on any dolphin, porpoise or small whale. Planning permission for a shopping centre located within a pod of pilot whales in the North Sea has already been revoked and […]

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The government have refuted claims that the new London Pigeon Rental Act is in fact a form of stealth tax. The policy, which will cost Londoners ten pence each for the pleasure of having pigeons in Trafalgar Square and other areas, was successfully passed through the House of Lords yesterday. Also included in the Bill […]

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