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Organ donor card found in Wisconsin Mixed Grill

Organ donor card found in Wisconsin Mixed Grill

Diner gets Organ he bargained for! Milwaukee Wisconsin, 2am last Saturday, truck driver Sam Chenzek sits down to a plate of fried offal at Meg’s Diner. Halfway through a curiously large pigs kidney he bites down on something hard. Reaching inside his mouth he pulls out a charred but recognisable piece of an organ donor card […]

FAA: Overweight pilots will require two cockpits

We’ve all heard the stories in the past regarding overweight airline passengers being required to purchase two seats when flying commercially. The most notorious instance of this being the obese man who was forced to saw himself in half when his two seats were not side-by-side. Oddly enough, he ended up storing his waist-down in […]

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Curry worries due to Lamb Scam!

Much like the beef which sneaked in meat from the namesake animals with horseshoed feet, now worries abound for the curries in town and the drab kebabs we’re guzzling down. For a devious scam, this time with lamb, shows that the meat is replete with alternate meats which are cheap. Vile Deceit from the Shop-Owning […]

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Grilled Cheese Sandwich to run for Mayor of Austin, Texas

Hot off the Panini Press! With the Supreme Court’s recent ruling that all people have the right to spend an unlimited amount of money on political campaign contributions, one man has ceased the opportunity to enact legitimate change in his community. That man is Gerald Kindler: a multimillionaire, and newly appointed Chief of Staff for […]

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Ghosts of Thanksgiving turkeys return to haunt Americans

Yesterday, Americans took time to reflect on the things they value most in life: insatiable gluttony, murdering Indians, and a version of football where the foot is used for about 15% of the competition. As is tradition, thousands of turkeys met their demise in order to satisfy the notorious Yankee appetite. This year however, those […]

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Gazpacho Gestapo! Spain cracks down on Soup Crimes!

The good people of Spain have had enough of poorly served soup. As of next Monday, roving bands of Soup Enforcement Agents will take to the city streets and rural hills of the Spanish countryside, making sure all varieties of hot and cold soups are being properly prepared. Soup Quality Taskforce Superintendent Gabriel Castillas feels […]

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Bravo pet foods admits to using Genetically Modified Cats on product labels

Bravo Manufacturing has issued a mass recall of cat food products across the United States, even though the products are considered to be 100% safe for animal consumption. The issue as hand is over the labeling of the products. On Friday, a spokesperson for the company issued the following statement: “We at Bravo offer our […]

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Haddock Editorial: Vegan Zombies Face a Moral Dilemma

What becomes of the broken hearted? That is the title of the sequel to a very fine film, but unfortunately isn’t the topic of this article. What becomes of vegans during the dreaded zombie apocalypse? Right, that’s better. And what better time to examine that subject than now, considering that the zombie apocalypse happened last […]

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Buffalo Wild Wings to begin allowing employees to work from Twitter

The popular US sports bar/restaurant/asshole magnet Buffalo Wild Wings has announced that as of next month, certain employees will be able to do their work via Twitter. The decision is being praised as “revolutionary” by the company’s board of directors. “Much like Yahoo!, we wanted to make a statement,” says corporate spokesman Harry Burlask, “Except […]

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Razor blade doughnut makers fight to keep razor blades in doughnuts

Yuri Slatskovlaki is a Latvian gourmet chef and pastry artist in Utah. For years, his cooking has set the standard for the niche Latvian cuisine industry in the United States. For years, his pastry shop has been famous for an item called “vinsidzek mus,” which roughly translates to “injury roll.” Over the years, the dish […]

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