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History is Destroying the World – it must be Stopped!

History is Destroying the World – it must be Stopped!

History is destroying the world A recent study has shown that there is now more history in the world than ever before. Whilst the levels of pre-history have remained constant its younger cousin continues to grow exponentially. Up until recently history was thought to be fairly harmless to the environment…but things are changing. One of […]

De-Classified Documents reveal the vital role of Clowns during World War II

Clowns helped bring down Hitler, and provided much needed jellybean support to occupied Poland. Clownfall! De-classified MOD documents released this week reveal a fascinating insight into the important and dangerous work carried out by clowns during the dark days of World War II. Although hampered by their outsized boots, ludicrously conspicuous clothing and constantly collapsing […]

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Surprising demand for Snow globes depicting tragic events

The crash of the Hindenburg; the My Lai Massacre; The new Lone Ranger movie. These are just three examples of past and recent horrors one may not expect to be depicted in a collectable art format. However, a growing number of morbid aunts and grandmothers have been purchasing these depressing knick-knacks online to the tune […]

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Room Full of Old People found in Parliament

A building situated close to the House of Commons has been found to contain a number of old men and women believed to have been there for centuries. Among the individuals questioned at the scene were; King Henry IV, St. Augustine, a man claiming to be a deposed Roman emperor, a Neanderthal hunter and Boudicca’s […]

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Scientists prove that Neanderthals Performed ‘Middle-Management’ role for Homosapiens!

Neanderthals were big, thick, ugly people with heavy brows and primitive tools…so how come their DNA survived? Homosapiens were cleverer, faster, better looking and more advanced in every way, but they had a hierarchy system very similar to the one we have today, and that had to be managed by people who spend their life […]

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Haddock History: Remembering the Cuban Whistle Crisis

 The Cuban Whistle Crisis! We know you don’t care about history. No one does; that’s why there is no such thing as historians. However, we at the Haddock Cultural Society would like to take the opportunity to offer literally zero insight into the present or future by taking a look at the bullshit of the […]

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Richard III DNA turns lab Monkey into insane Horse-Thief!

The likelihood of remains found near Bosworth belonging to disgraced English King Richard III increased dramatically yesterday after DNA from the skeleton was injected into a monkey. Gavin, a colobus monkey who, up until now had been a mild-mannered animal with a fondness for bananas and masturbating in front of a stainless steel mirror, took […]

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Boeing 787 Dreamliners found Buried under Burmese Airport

  Archaeologists searching for a number of Spitfires believed to have been buried by British troops in Burma during World War II have got more than they bargained for. At a press conference this mornining a spokesperson for the team was forced to announce that the story about the Spitfires is a ‘Baseless load of […]

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Soldiers Still not allowed Shields!

A soldier has been court martialed for requesting a shield. Private Peterson, a Yorkshireman, asked his commanding officer Captain Trehellian, if it would be possible for him to carry a shield into battle in order to avoid bullets and other hazards. Private Peterson was immediately told to do embarrasing and painful naked things in heavy rain […]

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Archaologists Unearth Bronze-Age Car Park at Stonehenge

A team of archaeologists working outside Britain’s most popular stone thing; Stonehenge, were more than a little surprised when their trowels scraped against what later turned out to be a large area of tarmac. It is generally accepted tarmac was not developed until Edgar Purnell Hooley patented it h in 1901 however it seems these canny little Bronze-Agers […]

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