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Referendum on UKIP Splitting from the Civilised World

Referendum on UKIP Splitting from the Civilised World

Should UKIP be split from the entire planet? Once again the public are to be asked a big question that they probably don’t understand and have been fed months of misinformation about. It’s a big responsibility. This time it’s simple; UKIP in our out of the world? If the answer is a resounding YES then […]

French label ‘Raspberry Beret’ as Cultural Appropriation

Raspberry Beret degrades the French Prince single Raspberry Beret, a huge hit in the 1980’s has now been recognised for what it really is; utterly racist and degrading to the French! ‘The French wear berets and anyone else who does is an evil racist bastard, that goes for stripy tops, strings of onions and little […]

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Amber Rudd sent to the West Indies thanks to Magna Carta footnote!

Amber Rudd surrenders passport Departing home secretary Amber Rudd has been deported to the West Indies thanks to a thousand year old unread memo. Mrs Rudd who had barely packed up her things into a cardboard box was detained by police and customs officials as she left her office yesterday and driven to the airport […]

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Trump Supporters Ready for Kanye 2020

There are people who really like Donald Trump. So much so that no matter what he does, they can figure out a way to justify and support his actions. They sleep well at night, and drink milk through straws. Mental gymnastics are impressive, and god doesn’t exist. That all squared, let’s talk about Kanye West. […]

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Melania Trump in ‘Macron Bedspread’ Scandal

Duvet Duvet Couche Avec Moi? First lady Melania Trump went from the White House to the dog house today after it emerged she had had a bedspread made using an image of French President Emmanuel Macron’s face. The duvet was found face-down on her bunk in Air Force one where she sleeps to escape her errant […]

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Bernie Sanders: “Guacamole is a basic human right”

Guac the Vote! Senator Benie Sanders has vowed that if elected president, he will push for comprehensive guacamole reform within the Mexican food service industry. “It is unacceptable that the wealthiest one percent of people in this country have access to ninety-nine percent of the nations avocado-based chip dip,” Sanders remarked on Monday. “Every able-bodied […]

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Get Surgery to make you American! Trump tells Immigrants.

Donald Trump said today that altering their features surgically would turn Immigrants into good God-fearing Americans thus solving lots of problems and saving the money that would have been spent on the Mexican Wall. The idea is to surgically make everyone the same, and therefore do away with the concept of anything being international at […]

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Congress considers bill to feed the Homeless to Wolves

For years, there have been people all over the world that live without homes. They are often referred to as “homeless.” Some people think that the homeless should be helped, fed, clothed, and tickled by the more fortunate of society. Others believe that they should be fed to wolves. A recently proposed bill will see […]

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Donald Trump: “I don’t believe anyone was born in the United States”

After a long, meaningless pursuit of president Barack Obama’s birth certificate, Donald Trump dunked his head in Elmer’s glue. He then rolled around in a dog kennel, and went to John Boehner’s tanning salon. After that he had a ate lobster from the asshole of a Greek god, and somehow managed to sire one of […]

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America sectioned under the mental health act

USA is Certifiable The UN council unanimously voted to have America sectioned under the mental health act. As of tomorrow the entire country will be known as ‘That Mental bloke’ and treated with deep suspicion by other more sane countries. The Mexican delegation said that America was so mad that starving drug mules who live […]

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