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Bad and depressing news is on the rise. According to a government Pole (Ivan Eztimate) Last year 78% of news stories were depressing, 12% Dull, 5% moderately interesting and finally 5% mildly arousing. A government think-tank is meeting this week to discuss how to reduce the amountof bad and depressing news. Studies show that some countries, […]

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British Political Action Figures!

Yes folks, the latest must have toy in the shops for this Summer; British Political Action Figures! There are three to collect. Each comes with his own set of policies and rhetoric. Although each has his own unique background story, they’re remarkably similar. It’s a scam: They all look the same! Yes they do rather don’t […]

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Government Well Wishers!

The government is to introduce a new ‘minimum amount’  of seventy pence for wishing wells. Anybody throwing in less than this will be prohibited from making a wish. Furthermore, all wishes made at public wells must pertain to government policy only and the money will be used to try and make those bills come true.  A […]

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Top of the Fops!

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Top of the Fops!

There is much talk in the media about why posh public school toffs seem to be running the country and why salt of the earth chaps like Alan Johnson are leaving them to it? (BBC News 26.01.2011). Part of the problem seems to be that posh public schools seem to have little to do with […]

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Like a Downing Rat

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This may not sound like news, but a rat has been seen outside Downing Street. The appearance of the rodent has prompted calls that the government should employ a cat to kill it. While it is true that the aforementioned rodent will most likely leave of its own accord when, in a year or two, Number 10 inevitably begins to […]

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Haddicked to Cod

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Haddock get a raw deal. They’ve been playing second fiddle to Cod for a long time now, often left to go all dry and flaky in the glass display case while other fish, saveloys, pies, king ribs and other delights are dished out to the public. While you may think this is a good thing, […]

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Mid Wife Crisis!

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UK Prime Minister Launches The Big Society By Fanny Haddock UK Prime Minister Dez Cameroon’s ‘Big Society’ vision has finally been implemented with The Big Society Issue – a new weekly entertainment and current affairs magazine to be sold on the streets by the hard hit middle-classes who are vulnerably mortgaged to the hilt and […]

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Liver Transpint!

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Liver Transpint!

Government plans put forward by Anti-Fun Secretary Sir Rosis to increase the price of Booze in an attempt to stop us drinking have gone off  the scale. According to Watchgrog, the price of a beer has now exceeded that of a liver transplant! Apparently it is now cheaper to have your liver swapped ten times a night than go to […]

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Campbell in the Wind

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Alastair Campbell was knocked over by a fart on his way home from Question Time last night. The fart, believed to have come from George Galloway (because it smelled of battered sausage and Iron Bru) was sent via a new type of organic text message available only to MP’s. Flatu-text, a way of sending farts […]

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