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Kermit the Frog and the denial of Rainbow Science

Kermit the Frog and the denial of Rainbow Science

On Tuesday, the Institute for Advanced Wetness Studies published a report detailing what some academics are calling “the most important scientific discovery of last Tuesday.” Finally, after thousands of years of mysticism, faith, and superstition, mankind now knows how Rainbows work. According to the study: “Rainbows are a natural phenomena resulting from the refraction and […]

Al-Qaeda asks ISIS to stop taking credit for their Attacks

On Monday, a pair of puss-filled fuck-canals in Texas tried to shoot some people for drawing pictures they didn’t like. Unlike a similar assault in France earlier this year, these consummate turd swallowers were unable to meet their objective. They managed to shoot a dude in the leg. That is the equivalent of a mosquito […]

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America sectioned under the mental health act

USA is Certifiable The UN council unanimously voted to have America sectioned under the mental health act. As of tomorrow the entire country will be known as ‘That Mental bloke’ and treated with deep suspicion by other more sane countries. The Mexican delegation said that America was so mad that starving drug mules who live […]

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Anger as Catholic Church fired into Space!

As you read this article, Planet Earth is being orbited by St.Joseph’s Catholic Church (Formerly of Hartlepool). How did it get there? The police don’t know the answer to that question but they are conducting door to door enquiries and have asked anyone who saw anything suspicious, no matter how trivial to come forward. They […]

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Fred Phelps said to be picketing at the Gates of Heaven

Fred Phelps, the funeral-picketing visionary of anti-homosexual bigotry in America, has passed into the afterlife. Sadly for him, there seem to be a ton of gay people there. As such, Phelps has set himself up on a little tuft of clouds besides Heaven’s gates where he is screaming at people on the entrance queue and […]

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Pig’s Rights group files discrimination suit against major religions

“It is 2013. Please, EAT US!” That was the core message behind a speech given in Oklahoma City by Tammy, a spotted potbelly and chairhog of the Coalition for Pig Equality. The CPE filed suit against several major religions this morning, claiming that pigs have been unfairly portrayed in most significant religious texts. “We are […]

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John Paul II to be made a New Orleans Saint

John Paul II, former guy from Poland who would later become the Pope, has now been made an official Saint. Granting his sainthood, team owner Tom Benson chanted a few phrases in Greek, then said: “It is a great honor to welcome such an awesome dude and Pope, John Paul the Sequel, into the New […]

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Vishnu Were Here! TimeShare Religion offers 2 Weeks in the faith of your choice!

No Salesperson will call! In our busy lives there is little time for God…he’s way down there with clipping your toenails and taking out the trash! Right up to the day you die of course when, miraculously, God is the most important thing in your life and your family can fuck off! According to the […]

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Vatican fears History Channel’s “The Bible” may cause people to actually read The Bible

Despite reviews lambasting the ridiculousness of History Channel’s “comprehensive presentation” of The Bible (via a series cleverly entitled “The Bible”), the Pope Francis administration has opted to keep with the time-honored tradition of knee-jerk reacting, for the sole purpose of making their opinions known. It really seems like these people don’t care much about church […]

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UKIP’s Nigel Farage will run for Pope!

Nigel Farage has finally admitted why he didn’t put his own name forward in the Eastliegh by-election, it seems he had a higher purpose. Farage, who is so right wing that he has a specially weighted jacket to prevent him spinning around in circles, appears to have seen an opportunity in becoming pontiff to sort […]

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