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Organised Bag Lady ‘ring’ blamed for Pacific plastic problem

Organised Bag Lady ‘ring’ blamed for Pacific plastic problem

You evil old cow! ‘Fuck you! You bastards’ said Millicent Frottage, a septuagenarian bag lady from Bedfordshire. This is the only thing she’s said since her arrest earlier this week and she’s said it to all sorts of people, including a bishop. ‘You evil old cow’ said police chief Bently Tibbert in response to her. […]

Lego Continent found floating in the Pacific.

Legonia Scientists have discovered an entire Lego continent floating in the middle of the pacific ocean. Believed to be about the size of Australia the Island christened ‘Legonia’ has miraculously escaped detection before now. Populated by lego men, women, children, Marvel Figures, Harry Potter characters and some seals, the giant plastic Island appears to be […]

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Organ donor card found in Wisconsin Mixed Grill

Diner gets Organ he bargained for! Milwaukee Wisconsin, 2am last Saturday, truck driver Sam Chenzek sits down to a plate of fried offal at Meg’s Diner. Halfway through a curiously large pigs kidney he bites down on something hard. Reaching inside his mouth he pulls out a charred but recognisable piece of an organ donor card […]

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Peruvian sea-lion deaths thought to be revenge attack by buggered penguins!

A Penguin the ass! Peruvian authorities looking into the mass death of 500 sea lions are investigating a bizarre theory that they were murdered by angry penguins in retaliation for years of sexual harassment. Recent footage of a seal ass-fucking a penguin (Watch a seal fucking a penguin here!) has caused outrage across the globe, especially to […]

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Climber ‘Lipstick Yeti’ Sex Encounter

Climber was led on by Yeti Unconfirmed reports from a local newspaper in Nepal suggest that a climber who had sex with a yeti during an in the foothills of Mount Everest yesterday afternoon was led on by the animal. The female yeti, believed to be around seven foot tall, was encountered by a group of […]

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VIBADGER – Badgers on Viagra to fight back against the cull!

Badgers on Viagra! Wildlife campaigners have been giving badgers Viagra pills to help them remain erect longer and do more shagging, in this way they are expected to make more badgers to replace those killed in the (Bovine TB) cull. The animals, who are unused to being erect for long periods of time have had […]

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Are rising Mortgage Rates destroying your Pancreas?

As most home buyers know, the stress of mortgages often drive people to drink, join street gangs, and practice the occult. But are mortgages also turning your pancreas into a beachball? Probably not, but don’t tell that to the newly released reports that say they are! Pancreas in Peril!! “The pancreas is a dual-functioning gland, […]

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Hyper-developed newborn sues mother over the condition of her uterus

“If it were an option, I would’ve opted for a 6-month contract.” This is part of the testimony of Alice Portnoy, a freakishly advanced newly born toddler in Allentown, Pennsylvania who is suing her mother due to what court documents refer to as “unacceptable in utero maintenance and upkeep.” “The place was just filthy,” claims […]

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Top Scientist: ‘Death Cures all Diseases!’

Yes, as scientists have long suspected death is the universal cure for all ailments! No matter how exotic your condition, death will put an end to it! Even cancer cannot survive death…it has needs too! Doctors and researchers all over the world are very excited about this idea, but admit that there are certain barriers […]

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What a Relief! A Blow-Job Computer!

Pro-Marriage Lobby warn against Blow-Job Computer! Advocates of the sanctity of marriage have given the strongest indication yet that they may well resort to violence if plans to release a computer that can perform blow jobs go ahead. Nebraska based ‘Gobble Computers’ have developed a machine capable of simulating the act of mouth love, traditionally […]

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