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Konda Eggs

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Why waste your time with a chocolate egg containing a crappy plastic toy when you can get one with a contraceptive device inside instead. These novelty items produced by Buckinghamshire Company, How Do You Like Em Ltd.  are the perfect ice breaker at parties. The unsuspecting girl receives a lovely surprise, a chocolate egg, how […]

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Pie Another Day!

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Want to loose weight? … Try Pie Patch! The latest diet innovation. Strap a pie-patch on your arm and you’ll find those pie cravings are taken care of for the whole day. It even comes with a packet of pastry flavoured chewing gum. “I used to be a forty-a-day man, it was nothing but pies […]

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Zebra Stripes Back!

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Zebra Stripes Back!

An important lesson about the dangers of science in the home was learned by professor Brian Salad of Leeds last week when his attempt to replicate the teleportation experiment from his favorite film “The Fly” backfired spectacularily! Mr Salad, who is now utterly unrecognisable, neglected to notice that a zebra had walked into his laboratory […]

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Aliens Exist – And they Taste Amazing!

Aliens have landed, and they ain’t half tasty! Reports from NASA indicate that alien lifeforms from outside our galaxy have landed on Earth and more are on the way disguised as popular foodstuffs. One of the first sightings was of a host of aliens – in the form of a Full English Breakfast – coming […]

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Rising Sea-Levels: A Solution?

Dr Jackson Collapsible-Pelican Goldsmith, a professor at the much venerated University of Sevenoaks has devised a plan to tackle the problem of rising sea levels as a result of global warming. His patented “Sea-Emptier” (pictured) will be tested this weekend in the Lake District. The plan is to install a number of these devices at […]

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The United Kingdom is now fatter than ever according to recent statistics. The messy aftermath of Christmas has created a fresh mob of the overweight, and overindulgence needs putting to a stop. New research suggests that the only way to crack the fat is to substitute the junk food craze with a new, healthier, alternative […]

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Da Vinci’s Wheelbarrow-Plane; Flight Imminent

Recently unearthed drawings by keen gardener and all round clever bloke; Leonardo Da Vinci, revealed a revolutionary design for a wheelbarrow-aircraft. The Florentine genius, known to have invented gliders, helicopters, turkey basters, clock-radios, electric toothbrushes, foot spa’s and other wonders far ahead of his time, reached his engineering zenith with this marvel of science. A […]

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Ground breaking research from The University of Sevenoaks has revealed that not only does driving in reverse save fuel, it is also a greener alternative to driving forwards. The theory is that by driving backwards you actually blow the exhaust fumes back into the car thus preventing them from escaping into the atmosphere and causing […]

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Dandruff death?

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Police today are investigating what is thought to be the first death by severe dandruff in history. Inspector Malcolm Dashboard of Devon & Cornwall police said in a press conference today: “The deceased, who’s family requests that he not be named due to cronic embarrassment, was found in the bathroom of his flat, and it […]

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