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VIBADGER – Badgers on Viagra to fight back against the cull!

Badgers on Viagra! Wildlife campaigners have been giving badgers Viagra pills to help them remain erect longer and do more shagging, in this way they are expected to make more badgers to replace those killed in the (Bovine TB) cull. The animals, who are unused to being erect for long periods of time have had […]

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David Moyes to replace Nick Clegg

David Moyes doesn’t understand politics – Perfect! David Moyes has been kicked out of Manchester United because he apparently doesn’t understand his job, Nick Clegg is still leader of the Liberal Democrats despite being in exactly the same predicament. Vince Cable has hit upon a plan to gently removed the confused little imp from power […]

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Curry worries due to Lamb Scam!

Much like the beef which sneaked in meat from the namesake animals with horseshoed feet, now worries abound for the curries in town and the drab kebabs we’re guzzling down. For a devious scam, this time with lamb, shows that the meat is replete with alternate meats which are cheap. Vile Deceit from the Shop-Owning […]

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Spain Bombarded by Immigrants fired from Medieval Siege Engines!

Illegal Immigration by Siege Engines Spanish Immigration officials are congregating in the tiny Spanish town of Tarifa at the country’s most southerly point holding blankets. Why are they standing on the beach holding blankets? They’re catching illegal immigrants. However, the blankets are not to warm up brave swimmers who have managed to paddle their way […]

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Drinking Athlete’s Piss causes weight loss!

‘Subjects forced to drink a glass of athlete’s piss before each meal demonstrated a significant drop in calorific intake as a result and therefore lost weight.’ Said Dr David Wilkes of the Utah dietary research unit at a press conference yesterday. It has long been surmised that athlete’s urine keeps working once they have finished […]

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UK social services steal children to engineer into TED Talks presenters

A pregnant Italian lady recently had her baby extracted from her womb by the British government. For free! Become sedated pregnant, wake up ready for beach season. What a lucky lass she is. The official report by social service agents is that the child was removed from it’s mother because the state raises children better […]

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Geologists Say Scottish Independence is Unlikely

In order to allow Scotland to separate fully from England an earthquake of unparalleled magnitude would be required. Despite his considerable size, even if you were to drop Alex Salmond from the edge of the atmosphere and he collided exactly with the border it would only provide 17%  of the fifty million kilotons of energy required to divide the […]

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Anger as a Catholic Church and choir is randomly fired into Space!

As you read this article, Planet Earth is being orbited by St.Joseph’s Catholic Church (Formerly of Hartlepool). How did it get there? The police don’t know the answer to that question but they are conducting door to door enquiries and have asked anyone who saw anything suspicious, no matter how trivial to come forward. They […]

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Doctor Who is sent back to the 1970’s to collar celebrity sex offenders!

Doctor who is going back to the 70’s to kick some celebrity paedo ass! Yep, the BBC’s own swash buckling pseudo insane time-traveller is going to put right some serious wrongs and try to make us all feel a little better having been duped into believing that sexual predators are entertaining. Using his sonic screwdriver […]

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UK Pop Stars discover battle rap

James Arthur: Serious Rapper, mate. England is a place known for many things: Buckingham palace, pasty, television, and greyness are just a few. But to thousands of hip-hop loving basement-dwellers, it is also known for its long history of high-quality battle rap circuits, the largest and longest-running organization being Don’t Flop. Recently, a rapper from […]

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