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Alleged ageism at the BBC has taken a worrying turn this evening with a statement from BBC chiefs explaining that as far as they are concerned there were no other ages other than the present. The Ice Age, Stone Age and Iron Age are all known to have existed but not according to auntie Beeb. Not only that […]

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A pet living in Barnsley may have become the first clairvoyant fish  due to a bang on the head. Prize winning goldfish “Alfonso Spherical-Conquistador Covent Garden Princess Bathsheba III”  or “Alfie” for short, has, it is claimed by his owner, a memory so short that it is in fact able to see into the future. Blessed with the usual 15 seconds of memory […]

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Bungay Jumping

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The people of Bungay in Suffolk are today bracing themselves for the imminent onslaught of a large number of revellers over the weekend known collectively as ‘The Pogos’.  Known for their regular mass gatherings around the UK, members of this curious cult have been seen consuming alcohol and leaping around manically in fields, pubs, stately homes and, perhaps […]

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Police Issue Photo-Fit of Invisible Man

Suffolk police have issued the above image of the invisible man. They are keen to question him regarding an incident which took place at a women’s lido in Great Yarmouth last Wednesday. The man, believed to be in his forties, is said to have entered the ladies changing rooms at 3pm and proceeded to slap a […]

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Stealth Kite Spies on Allotment

Hyper-competitive Welsh vegetable growers have resorted to extreme measures to try and win the county cup. A group of green fingered enthusiasts from the village of Clobber in Monmouthshire have been caught red handed spying on their competitors using what can only be described as a “Stealth Kite”.  The canvas structure 40′ x 40′ is deployed at night with a gardener slung […]

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Rising Sea-Levels: A Solution?

Dr Jackson Collapsible-Pelican Goldsmith, a professor at the much venerated University of Sevenoaks has devised a plan to tackle the problem of rising sea levels as a result of global warming. His patented “Sea-Emptier” (pictured) will be tested this weekend in the Lake District. The plan is to install a number of these devices at […]

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A family from the midlands had their Christmas dinner disrupted when a two tonne Ford Transit fell out of a cracker. The Tibbet family, from Gary Lineker House in central Leicester, had to move all of their furniture out of their dining room in the third floor flat to enable them turn the vehicle 180 […]

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Ever Wondered What Thrush Tastes Like?

Well, if you have the wait is over! The latest addition to London’s endless list of culinary establishments and eateries has arrived. “Thrush My Darling”, located in fashionable Soho, has a menu exclusively devoted to one of Britain’s favorite birds. Such delicacies as thrush pie, thrush sausage, thrush sushi and thrushed pineapple await your taste […]

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Dolphins Achieve National Park Status

From January 1st 2011 all dolphins are to be designated National Parks. From that day on it will be illegal to build or alter property located on any dolphin, porpoise or small whale. Planning permission for a shopping centre located within a pod of pilot whales in the North Sea has already been revoked and […]

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Rogue Milk Float Causes Chaos in City of London

Reported sightings of a rogue milk float, bearing the epithet ‘Milk not Money’ multiplied across the City of London today, as workers streamed out of their offices in droves, shouting vigorous anti-capitalist slogans of the like not heard of since Gordon Brown visited the local Marxist Toddlers Playgroup in his erstwhile constituency last year. The […]

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