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George Osbourne: All Politics to be Axed in Money Saving Exercise!

George Osbourne: All Politics to be Axed in Money Saving Exercise!

  Tomorrow Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne will announce a radical new way to save money and the health service in one fell swoop. From tomorrow onwards, all government policies and politics will be banned. Politicians will simply be required to go to the House of Commons every day and point out how crap […]

Haddock Reviews: Vikki Stone and Lucy Porter in Cardiff July 9th July 22, 2012

  Vikki Stone and Lucy Porter Monday July 9thBy Baron Haddock and Joao MoraisVikki Stone: starts off the preview of her forthcoming Edinburgh show ‘Hot Mess’ by talking about her recent Soho Theatre One Night Stand Up Award, which is sponsored by Durex.Vikki Stone walked on the stage talking about one night stands and Durex. […]

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Bishops Banned from Gay Bars!

Effective immediately: gay bars, pubs and clubs across the United Kingdom will close their doors to Church of England Bishops and indeed any clergymen who refuse to conduct gay marriages. “I think this is completely unfair!” Said a bishop who chose to remain anonymous. “How am I supposed to let off steam now? It’s very […]

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Captain America Expands Clientele Amidst Financial Troubles

With the highly successful cultivation of his brand and image over the last fifty years, most in the general public would expect superhero Captain America to be at least somewhat financially secure – after all, his likeness has graced everything from comic books to 3-D films, band-aid brand adhesive bandages to top-shelf liquors and rare, […]

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Drunken Dogs No Longer Allowed Aboard Sheffield Mass Transit

Sheffield Transit Commissioner Alri Taibi released a statement today affirming that the time has come for cracking down on intoxicated canines utilizing the city’s public transportation systems. Starting slowly at first, the number of incidents involving the boozed hounds has now “spiraled of control” in Sheffield. “[T]hey come from the pub after a match, bark […]

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Bernie Eccleston to hold Grand Prix in Normandy circa 6th June 1944

  Formula 1 supremo Bernie Eccleston revealed today that the FIA has built a time machine and they plan to hold a grand prix in the 2013 race calendar on the beaches of Normandy on the day the allied invasion of France begun. “It was a tough call, Baron HaddockMore Posts

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Cash-Strapped NHS Goes Medieval

Concerns have been raised that cash strapped NHS hospitals have been forced to resort to outdated methods in order to cope with the latest round of stringent government cuts. A damning new report suppressed by the Ministry of Health found that in one instance a five year old girl with a sore throat had a […]

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Barbie Broke! Dream House up for Auction After Foreclosure

By Joshuah Creswell Malibu, CA-The one-time queen of excess, and role model for wasteful, youth consumerism and anatomical insecurities, is forced to vacate her 5 square ft, 3 wall mansion in lieu of foreclosure. Barbie Doll, 60, is the latest celebrity victim of a dismal economy and beyond means living. Years of lavish spending on […]

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First Class Stamp Stampede!

Sales of books of stamps have been rationed following an outbreak of panic buying at post offices. Royal Mail outlets, newsagents and card shops have reported unusually high sales since the Post Office announced a hike in the price of first class stamps. Cedric Fothergill, postmaster at Heckmondwike post office in West Yorkshire said ‘It’s […]

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O’Ryan’s Belt! Ryan Air to offer Budget Space Travel!

By Jonathan Barker Flip-flap, budget jack airline Ryanair are to be the first budget airline to offer budget space travel. The CEO Michael Dermot ‘O’ Leary taunted journalists with his new scheme, along with mild swearing. I’m tellin’ ya’ Cackled ‘O’Leary. ‘From the makers of cheap seats planes; we are going to be the first […]

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