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Fry the Flag!

The Archbishop of Canterbury has announced that St George is to be phased out as England’s patron saint – to be replaced by QI host and all round wit Stephen Fry. Several miracles have already been attributed to Fry – first and foremost his ability to read just about every single book in existence, like […]

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GlueBarak!

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak failed to leave office last night because he has glued himself to a podium. The podium, which was so new that the glue up on it was still wet, fused itself to his legs as he stood up to announce his retirement from office. Now he has been forced to remain […]

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France is Soluble!

France is Soluble!

The French navy have been desperately spraying the country’s coast with bathroom sealant after the news broke that most of the country is in fact soluble and is in danger of fizzing into nothing because it is made of aspirin. While this problem primarily effects the French the whole of Western Europe has been put on standby […]

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Dispeptred Isle

Dispeptred Isle

The Pacific Island of Boghummahumma, one of the remotest places on the planet averages more stomach ulcers per capita than any other place on earth. Other gastric complaints are also rife creating a smell so abhorrent that a five mile exclusion zone has been setup around the island, not by the locals but by anyone with a […]

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Underground Weapons Program

Underground Weapons Program

Amidst fears that they may have the capability to create a nuclear bomb within the next few months, pictures have emerged of a new Iranian supergun consisting of parts that were allegedly purchased from London Transport.  The items, which appear to be underground train carriages, were spotted on the roof of a Tehran Military Facility, they […]

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Cyclone Yasi may not be an act of God after all. Photos from the eye of the storm show an object resembling a yellow vacuum cleaner, spinning around the storm wall at unbelievable speed. According to sources at Dyson, the first company to make yellow vacuum cleaners, the device may well be a prototype built […]

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Man Sues the Internet

Johnson Lacking, a disgruntled man with a history of erectile dysfunction is attempting to sue the entire Internet because of all the spam email he receives pertaining to penis enlargement, Viagra and other marital aids. “I just don’t understand why they keep emailing me?” he said. “It’s not like I emailed them asking for a solution! I’ve […]

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In a new twist on the old U2 spy plane story, American Basketball legend and world’s tallest man Guy Scraper has been charged with invading Russian airspace whilst on a fact finding mission in Chechnya for his charity: Plight for Height a quest to help giant starving babies. Mr Scraper who is eleven foot tall […]

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Rogue Milk Float Causes Chaos in City of London

Reported sightings of a rogue milk float, bearing the epithet ‘Milk not Money’ multiplied across the City of London today, as workers streamed out of their offices in droves, shouting vigorous anti-capitalist slogans of the like not heard of since Gordon Brown visited the local Marxist Toddlers Playgroup in his erstwhile constituency last year. The […]

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St. Nic Anti-Smoking Shocker

Times are hard for all of us, including it seems for one usually round and jolly fellow who until now has ensured children everywhere receive their presents at Christmas. Shockingly a red top has leaked that Father Christmas has become the spokesperson for ASH (Action on Smoking and Health) for an undisclosed sum. They cite […]

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