CCTV Cameras to be given Directors

CCTV Cameras will have directorsFrom Monday all CCTV cameras in London will have a short fat man behind them wearing a beret and jodhpurs, he will most likely be shouting!

so don’t be surprised to hear the phrase ‘Cut, oh for Christ’s sake Lionel!’ as you cross the road or walk down the pavement.

In addition to this change, all traffic lights will be acompanied by disco music and scantily-clad dancers.

All traffic cones shall be repainted as Daleks and given tiny motors so they can carry out full scale invasions and post boxes will be programmed to burp each time they receive a letter.

George Michael’s latest single will be piped into all male public toilets and parking meters will be replaced by tiny fruit machines giving punters a chance to win their money back.

The police will be stark naked and ambulances will be replaced by red limousines with fully stocked bars (as well as the usual oxygen and fun-packed drug cabinet).

It’s going to be a hell of a day!



© РHaddock News; Satirical News and News Satire for people and fish

Bernard Floater Posted by on October 1, 2013. Filed under Haddock Culture, Haddock UK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.