In a bizarre turn of events, it turns out that American celebrity chef Bobby Flay is behind the recent barbeque smoking of one of the Queen’s beloved mute swans.
The Food Network star was on holiday near Windsor when he spotted the unmarked mute swan. He decided to apply his proprietary brand of Tex-Mex bullshit cooking to it, throwing it on the cooker and drizzling it with sweet chipotle honey pepper chili sauce.
“I sincerely apologize to Her Majesty the Queen,” said Flay in a written statement. “I have to realize that when I’m in another country, I can’t just go around snatching animals and creating Southwest fusion dishes.”
By law, the swans have belonged to the Queen since the 12th century when they were eaten at royal banquets. The law remains as such because as superhumans, the Royal family is entitled to privilege unfitting of commoners. Apparently this disparity extends to celebrity chefs.
For more on this slow-roasting, click here.