A shepherd from Mosside, was found ‘not guilty’
and walked from the Old Bailey, yesterday, a free man, after countless attempts to poison his lover using weedkiller sprayed on her breakfast cereal.
Neighbours suspicions were aroused, when they noticed, fifteen pistol grip sprayers of Weedol left out for recycling. They claim Mr Perry Quart was an avid gardener and despite the huge amount of used bottles left for the garbage collectors, his patio was overrun with dandelions and thistles.
The victim (his wife Chrisystal Meth) was only mildly affected, considering ingesting so much toxic chemical , better used for rogue plant eradication.
“Well, I thought me Cheerios, tasted funny, like, but I’m always wasted at that time in the morning, and me mouth usually tastes like a vultures crutch until I get some scran down me, like.