So what’s the deal with the large Haddock Colander anyway? Seven billion pounds to build something which creates temperatures three times the heat of the Sun? It uses more power than milking machine the size of Venus … so it’s hotter than the sun and uses up all the energy … Surely this is contrary to Global warming advice? It’s even worse for the planet than Irish Budget Airlines. But what are they actually using it for? One theory is that these fantastic temperatures are being used to develop a new sun lotion so protective that it would allow you to spend the day on the surface of the Sun with just one application. The new product, Factor 50 (To the power of nine) is to go on sale next year. The only drawback is that if you use it in normal conditions you’re likely to freeze to death or die from Vitamin D deficiency in the time it takes to wear off. To make matters worse it is waterproof!