“Well, it’s not like they’re gay is it?” said a member of the clergy who wished to remain unnamed.
In order to deflect media attention from their opposition to gay marriage on the grounds that, in some ways the dark ages was not so bad after all, the church have suggested that brothers and sisters could marry if they really liked each other.
“It would be alright if they promised not to have sex!” said Peter McManus of the church science laboratory. “Then, you could say the same for homosexuals I suppose!” he laughed.
He went on to say that in parts of Appalachia and the Forest of Dean this kind of thing is a real alternative when the pool of eligible singles dries up.
Needless to say this suggestion has angered gay rights groups.
“How the church can pass judgement on sexual orientation with their record is beyond me.” Said Felix D’louche an IT director and Soho drag queen. “They’re not even supposed to have sex, so if they’re saying they know something about it they’ve obviously got a rather confused idea of what the word ‘chastity’ really means!”
Currently it is legal for gay couples to have a civil partnership but for some reason the next step of marriage eludes them.
Sibling marriages are nothing new of course, there are countless examples of adopted children ending up married to their lost sibling.
“I can’t understand it myself,” said Brian Tennant from the common sense think tank ‘FFSAKE’. “How could you marry your sister? They’re so f*cking irritating! And as for the amount of time they spend in the bathroom!”
The debate is still wide open of course.
There is a new group, believed to consist of middle aged single men, who are campaigning for the right of nuns and women priests to work in pole-dancing joints.
Everyone clearly has an opinion on this subject, what’s yours?