Church on the Toad to Ruin

Senior figures in the Church of England were desperately attempting to stave off a major schism from within their ranks yesterday after several senior bishops threatened to split from the mainstream Anglican community over whether or not early nineties cartoon character Bucky O’ Hare had been justified in his crusade against the toads. Trouble flared at the annual international church congress in Lambeth Palace after Bishop of Darwin Croppermile Wamble called O’Hare;  â€œA fascist prototype who sought nothing less than the total elimination of the toad race.â€